Self-Mastery 01: What do you have to show for yourself? Part I.
How do you respond to others when they say they can’t see any progress in your “life” over the past few years?
Constant queries these: “You’ve been talking about this for a few years now”, “what do you have to show for your time?”, “You were a high achiever, what have you achieved now?”. And more.
Parents, friends, partners-supposedly-in-crime, anyone who loves you, is concerned, envious, even one who has scorn for you will ask or tell you this. In this life, that’s par for course.
I’ve held roles where achievement and progress was assessed and based upon tangible performance. You know, sales targets, selling anything from scrap to satellites. Numbers spoke. Even if you were a royal sob, pain in the butt, or an mcp, your numbers stood by you. You made rain, hey. That’s big. That unfortunately also allowed for many values to be compromised. Plenty stories there.
I left that life behind. I’m sure it’s there for anyone who wants to take it. Moi, I’m gone. Even so, exiting the entrenchment and entrapment of the world’s illusions takes its own time.
Most of my friends continued in that life, and their markers and tools of evaluation stayed the very same. Many have made their nest-eggs and stuff, and twiddle their thumbs, or golf the whole day. They contribute nothing to society or to humankind anymore they way each of them once did. They say they haven’t changed much at the core, but life’s easier, and they’re happy. And I’m downright thrilled for them. I cannot of course do anything about their boredom (or boredome, for that matter).
They tell me I’m stress-free. I ask if that’s even possible. They say I handle it all better now. True. I’ve changed my world, and more importantly, my orbit. I once orbited around the world I created; I now orbit around my own Self.
My work for the past nineteen or so years has been in Self-Mastery. The two words are crucial, and are intended in the order they are stated. First, it’s connected with the “Self”, which is quite distinct from the “self”. I work with both. The second is “Mastery”. I’m not in the game for average, good, excellent, or outstanding. I’m in this game for Mastery.
A lot of this progress is defined and evidenced by the state of one’s own consciousness, and by how you deal with the cards you are dealt. The game is I; this is the mastery of I and i; knowing the difference, working with it, taking it on the chest and embracing it, and so very much more. This is my play in life. I’d golf too, but for my life, I’m better deployed here. Have I earned my rest and retirement? Actually, I’ve earned my right to walk my path, having discharged every responsibility to the best of my abilities.
I work with and at life through my own self. I believe that at every single moment I’m designed for that very moment; for I believe that everything that I know and do not know, have and have not done, has led me to the present.
Like everyone, I’ve gained and lost loads in my life. And like with most everyone, it made a difference to me; made me happy, excited, joyous; as too shocked me, stunned me, smashed and slammed my emotions and body to rock, earth, and into the sea. You’ve been there.
Do things come and go in my life now? Of course they do. But it makes no difference to I.
The “me” is the “little” i. There’s a game that i play with my Self. But the little rabbit can bounce around daddy elephant all it wants; no bother. And then a wild boar can ram you all it wants, but if you’re Tyrannosaurus Rex, it’s no sweat again; and if you understand me right, you can well make a meal of said boar. And Mr Rex may try terrorise you all it wants, but if you’re a hundred times larger, you won’t bother with Rex being out at play. Eventually, it’s all kind of cute, as would seem a ladybug sitting on the nose of a great Beast. Rabbit, Boar, Rex, Ladybug; they’re the all-powerful manifestation of Maya, that gorgeous grand illusion. They’re characterised by one thing; they appear and disappear to reappear in different forms. And if you’re stuck, they reappear with the same attributes. You don’t make fifth grade if your fourth grade lessons aren’t mastered.
Herewith a question: “through what lens do others look at you?” It’s usually their lens, just as you look at them from yours.
I’ve changed game and playing field. You cannot compare chess moves with soccer goals. Nor can you measure temperature with a weighing machine.
If you’re on a path looking inwards, those that have their backs touching yours are looking outwards. That’s another direction, and success there may be measured by acquisition. Yours might be measured by relinquishment.
Carl Gustav Jung said: “Your vision will become clear when you look into your heart; who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”
Delivering numbers was a see-saw between vraiment drôle and boring. Wasn’t always easy if you were trying to sell a comb to a bald man, you know. But hey, I shave my head and keep a beard, and still do not use a comb.
I never imagined the road of self-discovery to be smooth. It’s been the toughest imaginable; I’ve had to negotiate hurdles I myself have placed! My working career seemed like a holiday in comparison. Dealing with one’s own Self and self first and at every point is decidedly tougher than amassing numbers, whether on a sales chart or a chalk-board with your commander scoring dogfights.
Maybe the path was tough because I imagined it to be tough. Now I think it’s a smooth path, and it actually seems to be so. You see, my ego imposes its own perspectives and shadows upon the Spirit. Wowsie technicolour lenses, those! All that aside, I’m not here to choose the easy path. I’m here to choose the path that’s right for me, as rough and bizzare as it may well appear to another. And what is that? It’s the one aligned with my core Self, my core values, and life purpose. Selling saws or knives doesn’t cut it for me.
The ego cannot, and will not understand the Spirit. Why? Because the ego knows it needs dissolve and lose its identity, ergo die, before it can merge with Spirit and enter that experience. It’s petrified of dying, and runs all of life to save itself. And unless it surrenders, it can know no different.
Un très beau tour, n’est-ce pas?
Love and respect.
… Continued in Self-Mastery 02; What do you have to show for yourself? Part II, at: